"How does your mental illness affect your ability to communicate?"

Recently I sat down and started having a conversation with a friend. After about 20 minutes they started talking about books, and I sat and thought about what they'd said, but when it came to actually verbalising my thoughts, all I could respond with was "hmmm".

Unsurprisingly, this stumped my friend.

My thoughts had disappeared the moment I went to put them into words. When asked, I likened it to trying to grasp a bubble, only for it to burst.

So there we go, my thoughts have turned into bubbles. Not the kind you have in the bath, either, where you can scoop up a whole mountain of them at once. No, these are the kind of bubbles you get from the cheap little bottles of bubble mix you get in the corner shop during the summer.

Truth is, this happens to me on a regular basis. Including during meetings, which can be frustrating. I dread to think about how many ideas I've lost to this brain hiccup. You'd think it's bad enough when anxiety interferes when I'm trying to communicate with somebody new! I think in this instance it's a case of the depression gremlin sneaking in and stealing my thoughts when I'm not looking.

Either way, it's infuriating. So now you know, if ever we're chatting and I suddenly go silent, I've probably popped all my bubbles!