"How do you accept / respect where you are in recovery?"

Over the weekend, I decided that it was time to sit down and write again. I've been on a few adventures this year, and the blog has fallen on the back-burner. This has partially been accidental, and also a little bit intentional. Accidental in that I never intended to leave a gap of several weeks between blog posts; intentional in that I've decided to only write when I truly have something to say.

So, when I put out a call for questions, a friend got in touch to ask about accepting and respecting where you are in your recovery. It's certainly a hefty question, but I'm going to try to give it the attention and care it deserves.

For me, a large part of accepting and respecting where I am in recovery is trying not to count the days. For the first two weeks, I kept a running tally of my recovery streak since I last self-harmed, but at this stage? I only have a rough idea as to how long it's been. That's okay.

You see, the thing is, where you are in your recovery is where you're meant to be in this moment. It's a process, a time-consuming one at that. You can't skip the line, and if somehow you do manage to reach the finish line without jumping all of the hurdles, you will be sent back to those hurdles later on.

In the past, I've described recovery as being like surgery. You have to open up the wounds and get a good look around to see what the damage is, then you have to fix that damage, and eventually you have to heal. Trying to rush this process is like closing up a patient without repairing all of the damage. It could prove to be more damaging in the long-run.

So whilst I recognise that it can be frustrating to feel as though your recovery is moving slowly, or even not at all, know that things are moving. They're just moving slowly. And that's okay. Let yourself recover.