"Be who you were before x, y, or z?"

I've noticed a slightly worrying image circulating Facebook recently. Actually, more specifically, it's not the image that's worrying, but the text that's been superimposed over the image. "Unf**k yourself: Be who you were before all that stuff happened that dimmed your f**king shine!"

Now, I can see why some people may see that as motivational or inspirational, but I see it and shake my head. Why do people want to go backwards? What is this obsession with rewinding? When did it become inspiring to be told by a meme to pretend that what happened never actually happened?

So I sat and thought about it while I was waiting for a lift home, and made some notes on my phone. It went kinda like this:

"Unf**k yourself?"

-Not that easy!
-Grow and learn instead.
-Become a new and improved version of yourself.

This last one is my favourite and deserves some expansion:

-You are not a broken phone screen or a faulty car. The aim of getting "fixed" (or rather, recovering) is not to walk away the same as you were before. You are not an object, you are a human. You are a human with the capacity to grow and learn from your experiences.

I'll let you in on a secret. Throughout life, things will happen to you. A handful of those things will be really sh**ty; and while I detest the phrase "everything happens for a reason", I do believe that almost everything has the potential to teach you something if only you look for a lesson to be learned. You may not learn that lesson for a week, a month, or even a year, but if you're open to it, you will learn it.

Stop trying to go backwards, and move forwards. Better than that, move upwards and rise above whatever it is that's been holding you down. You are a bigger person than anyone who thinks they have a right to troll you, stalk you, or hurt you. So take a deep breath and soar.