"How do you feel when you look at all of this?"

I'm answering this question with a pile of approximately 150 "In case of relapse" cards beside me. This afternoon I ran downstairs and grabbed the package that was perched atop the letterbox. I opened it on a Facebook live stream, worried sick that there would be something wrong with the design. I shrieked as I saw them in the box - they were perfect.

About an hour later, someone paid postage for 10 cards so that I could send them free of charge to anyone who needed them. So far I've send 6 cards. My heart is full of love and happiness.

It'll probably help if I give a little backstory. Last week I published a blog post about moving on from relapse. In that blog post I included a 5-step plan for accepting relapse and continuing with recovery. After writing it, I created the accompanying graphic, posted it to my personal profile, and said "I'd love to put this on cards and offer them free of charge, I just don't know how I'd do it".

At the end of the week it occurred to me that I could print them on business cards but minus any and all business details. Now, the reason I wanted to do this is because of two instances of relapse in my life. One was straight out of hospital, when I scratched the word "failure" into my thigh because I didn't feel like I had the strength to recover. The second was after an appointment with a counsellor a week before my 17th birthday, when I was told I "should really be growing out of self harm by now"; a statement that distressed me so much that it was thoroughly counterproductive.

During that time of regular relapses, I could have done with something to remind me that it was okay, tomorrow was a clean slate, and just because I had relapsed didn't mean I wasn't strong enough to ever recover. I mean, look at me now! Two and a half years later, I'm still clean.

So I look at this latest achievement, and the new cards in the pipeline, and I feel excited. I'm giving people something that didn't exist when I needed it to, and now I'm making it exist for them. I'd even go so far as to say that it makes me feel proud - and that's not something I feel very often!