After yesterday's blog post, I have something pretty important to say: It's okay if you fight relapse and you don't win. It's not the end of the world. I say this as someone who has relapsed several times, and will almost undoubtedly relapse again.
If you relapse, you'll likely feel awful. I know I did. I remember scratching out the word "failure" on my leg once - as soon as I was released from hospital, in fact. I couldn't believe that I didn't have the strength to stop harming myself. Little did I know that I did have the strength, and you do too. There is no shame in relapse.
I know that it can and does get tiresome starting over any time you relapse. Here's the thing though: If you're relapsing, it means you've spent a period of time in recovery. It could be days, weeks, months, or years.
Here's what I want you to do if you do relapse:
1. Take a deep breath.
2. Tell yourself "I made it 'X' amount of time without doing 'X'".
3. Acknowledge that you're strong enough to go that long.
4. Tell yourself "If I can go that long, maybe I can go longer".
5. Realise that you'll never know how long you can go if you give up on yourself and on recovery.
I see you, I love you, and I believe in you. You can do this, and I'm right here if you need to talk it out.