Business as usual can be tough after trauma. The impact can last for months, or even years after the initial event. I know this because my mind, for some reason, has chosen today to pull together every bad experience I've ever had and torment me with them. I'm flip flopping between hurt, anger, and sadness.
Yet here I am, writing for the blog like I do every week. I'm not ignoring my emotions, I'm getting them down in writing and releasing them into the world. However, not everyone has a platform like this. I am most definitely one of the lucky ones.
One of the best things I can say is if you've got a lot of pent-up emotion then please do speak to someone, or write it in a diary. I'm undoubtedly going to be exhausted after writing this because I tend to find that the intense emotion I feel is what keeps me awake. Getting it out of my system leaves me without anything propping me up like that.
Once upon a time I would have run away from these feelings and distracted myself until they disappeared. It's taken a while but I now know that I'd only be letting them build up. When I let them build up they all tend to hit at once, but unlike today they become unmanageable. That's when self-harm comes into play, and after 2.5 years, I'd rather it didn't get a chance to creep in again.
So I've resorted to brutal honesty regarding my emotions. When people ask how I am, I rarely respond with "grand" unless it's true. It would be easier if the world were a little less quick to label people as "attention seekers", but thankfully I have some very understanding people around me.