"What would you say to your younger self?"

The easiest way for me to answer this is in the form of a letter to my 13 year old self. Those of you who have read articles about me or have been following the blog for a while will know that it was at the age of 13 that things went downhill very, very quickly. There are quite a few things I wish I'd known then that I know now. Things about the people I was "friends" with at the time, and things about who I was going to become. However, if I had known those things, I probably wouldn't be who I am today.

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Dear Megan,

Hello from 6 years ahead! That's right, you wake up after every overdose. There's one coming up in 3 years that will leave you groggy for a few days, but you'll get through it. It'll be the last one you take - at least for another 3 years.

I know you're confused right now, and it hurts me to think of you going through so much pain. Even now, I don't know why things went downhill so quickly. I don't know why you're going to start self harming next year. I don't entirely know why school makes you so upset.

But I do know that you're going to get through it, and you're going to be okay. In fact, you're going to go on to help people. You'll become passionate about making sure that nobody feels how you felt. You'll be diagnosed with severe anxiety in 3 years, and they'll try to put you on medication. You'll try it for a couple of weeks to be polite, but you'll hate it and stop taking the tablets.

When you're 17, you'll make a promise to yourself to start telling your story when you turn 18. You'll start by working with FixersUK to create an animation about your anxiety, and then you'll go back to school. I know you don't believe it, but you will. You'll give a talk to a class of 14 year olds, and they'll listen to you. They'll appreciate what you have to say. I promise.

I'm sorry that all I have to offer you are promises of a better time. I know that's the last thing you need right now - people telling you "it gets better". I wish there was a way for you to get where I am now without all this suffering.

Just remember, your suffering may be what helps you save someone some day.

I believe in you, and I love you.

See you in 6 years, little me.

Love,
Big Me.