"Do you find it hard to trust people?"

This is a frequent question that comes about when I tell people about the time when a "friend" announced to my class that I was self harming for attention.

The truth is, trusting is extremely difficult for me these days. Between bullying, harassment, stalking, and assault, trusting people is a near impossible feat nowadays. The solution to this is pushing myself. As I write this I'm on a boat to the Isle of Man to spend a week with an "internet" friend. I know that the person who assaulted me is part of a minority of not-so-nice-people, so I'm not going to let what happened stop me from travelling.

I have to trust that there are good people out there. People on the same wavelength as me who have no intention of hurting me. I need to believe that with all my heart, or I'll never leave the house. I won't get a job, I won't make friends, I certainly wouldn't have this website where I bare all of my scars.

The minute I believe that this is a bad world rather than a good world with a few bad people, I lose everything. Honestly, as difficult as I find it to trust people, it's easier to trust than it is to distrust everyone.

So as I watch Northern Ireland disappear into a cloud of fog, I'm going to move forward with nothing but trust for the woman I'm going to meet for the first time.