A little over a year ago, I got my semi-colon tattoo. One of the first posts I wrote for this website was about that tattoo and what it means to me. I'd been waiting for a long time to get that tattoo, so to be able to get it in New York just hours before it would be 2 years since I took my last overdose...well, it was quite simply overwhelming and magical.
I had a friend with me when I got that tattoo. "You'll think of me whenever you look at it", he said. Hours later, the assault took place.
Now, I don't want to repeat everything I've already said about that night. It was traumatic, I still can't sleep, and it's still nearly impossible for me to have a "normal" relationship. We know all that. What I haven't really talked about is the fact that I feel sick every time I look at the tattoo that meant so much to me.
All year, I've been looking at it thinking "I should probably get it covered, but I don't want to lose the memory of the excitement I felt when I signed the forms before getting it done because of him". So, when a friend suggested I had it adjusted and get butterfly wings added to it to signify an ugly journey resulting in something beautiful, I texted my tattooist and asked him when I could drop in.
Tomorrow, I'm going to be reclaiming my body. The person who assaulted me has put me through hell over the last 12 months, and that's without being in my life. It's time for me to move past that. I got some exciting news last night, and I'll share that in due course, but the ugliness of the last year truly has led to something incredible.