"Reasons to carry on?"

I have a history of giving up. Giving up on hobbies, adventures, even life. Heck, it's kind of incredible I haven't given up on this website. It doesn't make any money, it's a bit of a drain on resources, and whilst it's therapeutic for me, it's also a bit exhausting.

But regardless of all that, I have reasons to carry on with it, just as I have reasons not to give up on life. Sometimes it's mundane, like the fact that I can blether on about anything linked to mental health and not worry about people getting bored because they've made the decision to come to the website in the first place.

Other times, it's something more profound. Occasionally I get messages from people who've contacted me asking about services available in Northern Ireland, thanking me for talking them through what's near them. Or I get messages from people who tell me that my vulnerability on the blog when I'm low helps them or others around them to understand that sometime's it's okay to just put your cards on the table, to ask for help.

It's the same in the greater scheme of things. There are days that I decide not to give up on life because there's a concert that I really want to go to. I imagine the empty seat that I'd paid for, and I decide that it's as good a reason as any to battle through the dark moments.

Every day, I make the decision to carry on with life. There are books I've yet to read, films I've yet to see, songs I've yet to listen to, people I've yet to meet. Those are the things that keep me going at my darkest points.


If you like this piece, you may like this poster, now available in the Little Shop of Hope.